Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
