Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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