Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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