Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
