yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
