STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
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she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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