im gay
i know
yea but for you.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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