i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
