i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize