Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
