he puts the penis in happiness.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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