They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
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I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
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I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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