yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
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