Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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