it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
