Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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