please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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