Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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