I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
