I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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