So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Randomize
