you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
