The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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