You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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