What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
