it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
