Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
