theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
