and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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