We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
