bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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