She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
this will be a night to untag.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
