he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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