its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
