Quick, to the slutcave!
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
