omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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