I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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