can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
