just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
