Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
