I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
