so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
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how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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