Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
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