You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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