porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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