dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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