Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
