let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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