my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
