I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
