You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
