Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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