You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
