I think I am morally bankrupt
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
