I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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