dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
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On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
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You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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