morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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