Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
