called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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