and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize