You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
