Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
