I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
