Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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