found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
